Gratitude, Growth, and God's Abundant Grace

Six years... If you had told me six years ago what I would be doing today, I really do not think I would have believed it... in fact, I do not think I would have believed I'd be alive. See... six years ago, today, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that, up until that point, I had gone undiagnosed with for at least five years. I was sick, I was tired, I was scared. But God? Oh, how much gratitude I have for the growth He has accomplished in me, through His abundant grace.

This week I have already walked over twelve miles, (and it's only Wednesday) and have sat through six law school classes. This week I have graded 90 undergraduate quizzes, and read eight psalms (and it's only Wednesday). I have breathed, laughed, and cried (and it's only Wednesday!). All these things, because God has been oh, so good. The photos above show the six years I have grown since my diagnosis. 1 year (2017), 2 years (2018), 3 years (2019), 4 years (2020), 5 years (2021), 6 years (today!). God has been SO good.

Below is my 'journal,' ... full of posts from each year (including today) since that day ... September 21st, 2016. Read if you'd like... and remember: "I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion on the day of Christ." Philippians 1:6. He's not done with your story.

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Year one, September 21, 2017:

One year. One incredible, growth-full, beautiful, struggle of a year. One year ago today I woke up from General Anesthesia, to find out I had been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I remember that feeling when I found out - the uncertainty, the worries, and the knowledge that my life had changed forever. This year has not been easy - in fact it's probably been the hardest year of my life so far, as I navigate living life this way, but it's also been a true blessing that I am forever grateful for. I've made it a year, completely gluten-free. For that, I praise God! My sweet family, and dear friends, have been there for me every step of the way, and have made sure that I've been fed well in the process! This was the first year of the rest of my life, and I thank God for all the awesome things He's taught me in this year, particularly the deepened faith and trust in His Will!

Here's to the 365 days that have passed, and the many, many more to come. If you've read all that, thanks for being here. For me, today was a celebration, an anniversary, a marker, of all God's done and all He will continue to do in my life.

"I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ." ~Philippians 1:6

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Year two, September 21, 2018:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 It's been two years… Two years of Celiac Disease… two years of the greatest blessing-within-a-curse you could ever imagine! I never expected two years ago that my life would be impacted in such deep and beautiful ways by something that at first seemed like such a curse. Praising God, today, for His faithfulness and sovereignty. I don’t know why He chose for me to walk this path, but I have seen His plan unfolding in the last two years in ways I could never have imagined He would. God is unchanging, and His love does not know an end. He has brought me thus far, and I am eager to see what the next two years of my life will have in store. It’s the two-year anniversary of my diagnosis with Celiac Disease - and I’m choosing to greet that with celebration!

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Year three, September 21, 2019:

Three years of healing!

Three years and a day ago, I was terrified of what the future could hold. I was seeking to emotionally and mentally prepare myself for what I had been told could well be a diagnosis of terminal illness. I was far sicker than I’ve ever been before or since.

Three years ago today, I was given my life back, and began to truly “live” for the first time in years. I was given the diagnosis of Celiac Disease. To say it was life-changing is an understatement - those who knew me before, can attest it has changed nearly every aspect of my life. Yet, how very blessed I am! Today is my third anniversary of being gluten-free! I’ve learned so much along my journey. I’ve gotten to know people and be blessed by so many, because of it! (Not to mention countless Villi/no Villi jokes) I’ve gotten to see glimpses of God’s hand at work through it all!

Though it hasn’t been easy, I wouldn’t have changed the last three years for anything! To all of you who have walked with me through this, THANK YOU!!!! I’m so grateful for each of you!

I’m celebrating today, and always, because it is in my weakness that His power is made strong and perfect!!!

Three years of healing!

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Year four, September 21, 2020:

Four | Growing up I remember reading a book called, “The First Four Years,” about Laura Ingalls Wilder’s first four years of marriage. I distinctly remember considering, even then, how fast four years could go and how much could happen in them, given how much transpired in such a relatively short book. So the past years have felt to me. Four years ago, today, I was diagnosed with Celiac disease. What a hectic, joy-filled, fun-filled, fulfilling, difficult, tremendous, life-changing, four years they have been! Yet how much even this last year, this fourth year, has held! I remember four years ago wondering about a number of things:

-Will I make it through college? -Will I graduate? -Will I be able to get a job? -Will I be able to memorize facts again? -Will I be able to participate in fun things with celiac? -Will I ever get to go on a missions trip? -Will my life still hold a great purpose?

My goodness how God has answered those even just this year! I made it through college - in fact, with God’s strength I excelled! I graduated this year; I have not one but THREE great jobs; I memorized 50 digits of pi one day for fun this summer and a bunch of bones for A&P in the spring; I have done things like swimming in FL, canoeing in NH, hiking, atv riding, etc, all just this year; I went on a missions trip with my college last spring; and I am confident God made my life for great purposes! Many thanks to my mama who learned a whole new menu and tried countless cooking/baking tricks to bring (twice a month at least) me GOOD and SAFE food while I was at college the last four years. Thanks also to those of you who have made the last four years so wonderful - whether my fellow celiac’s, and gluten-free gals and gents, or those who patiently and lovingly helped me navigate a gf life in a gluten-ful college world. Life is, oh, so, worth living and four years in, I choose to praise God for the ways He has used celiac as a way to minister to others in my life and to daily pull me closer to Himself - the only daily bread I’ll ever need! ______________________________

Year five, September 21, 2021:

5 years!!! ___

Philippians 1:6 is a favorite verse of mine.

“For I am confident in this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion on the day of Christ.”

Today is the epitome of why I hold it dear. ___

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” September 21, 2016, I didn’t have an answer. I had looked forward to college and whether to pursue law school, medical school, or some sort of teaching, but lately, I had been so very sick, we weren’t sure what was wrong.

We drove into Boston that morning for the endoscopy and I remember my future plans seemed to crumble. I recall going under anesthesia, not knowing if I was more afraid of the test itself, or the answers it would bring.

My doctor told me after, that she didn’t yet know the biopsy results, but that I would never be able to eat gluten again, and I feared something worse might be wrong. Also, would I ever be able to memorize facts again, since my brain was unable to process even the smallest of details from class? I recall reworking my response a thousand times to that question: “where do you see yourself in five years?”

But dear 2016-me: God is faithful, and His plan is perfect.

Today, five years later, I again spent my morning traveling into Boston, this time to law school. God carried me to exactly where I dreamed of being, five years ago. Has it been easy? No. But has it been His perfect plan above and over mine? Yes!

I never thought that the answer I had wanted to say for my “where do you see yourself in five years?” would actually come true five years later. But through it all, God taught me something incredible: to trust in His perfect plan above any of my own goals, dreams, or aspirations. Forcing me to let go of the things I had worked for and dreamed of, He used my Celiac diagnosis to mold my heart to look more like His own, and to lead me to seek after HIS plan. What precious proof of a good father, that He in turn DID give me those dreams, through His timing and path.

I haven't a clue what my next five years will bring but I Praise God today for how far He has brought me and for the fact that He continues to carry me to completion on the day of Christ!

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Year six: Today.

There is so much I could say about this year.... so very much.... It has, without a doubt, been the toughest year of my life. But honestly? Being diagnosed with Celiac six years ago was probably the greatest gift I've ever been given. I would never have asked for this, but God has taught me so much through it all - not the least of which is to fully rely on His grace, and to trust that His faithfulness is not going to end. His power is made perfect in my weakness, and His grace is sufficient for me. I am so incredibly blessed to serve a God who deals gently with His children, choosing to be Emmanuel - God with us.

No matter what you are facing today, no matter what struggles or illness or pain you carry, I urge you to lay those at the foot of the cross. "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." I know the pain of chronic illness and fatigue, of fibromyalgia and neuropathy, but I also know the deep deep peace that comes from knowing that through it all? It is well with my soul. I pray that you, also, would know that peace.

I do not know what my day will look like in year seven, but I am confident that I will have even more to sing His Praises for. For the Lord is good, and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through all generations. (Psalm 100:5).

Grateful today, for growth and God's abundant grace!

Love,

Jessica